Saturday, June 21, 2014

Mundane and Mysterious

Sorry about my lack of posting. I've been forced to take up a part-time job to cover loose ends. The money I inherited from my grandfather didn't disappear or anything, its just that I never got around to sorting out the paperwork to take possession of it, seeing as how the crazy things going on in the house at the time pushed it out of my mind. Its kind of dull, but after the craziness of the past two years, that suits me just fine.


The main thing I wanted to let you guys in on was the situation with the Parliament. I'm still not 100% sure who it is that's possessing me from time to time (though I have my suspicions), but it would appear that they can't get at me anymore, or at least not as easily. They've been riding my back for a while now so its nice to not have to deal with cosmic censorship. I'm still watching my back in case they're actually going to do more than talk about killing me of course.


The way the museum was presented in my dreams and the way it really happened is still on my mind. But if my next plan works, I think I might be able to find out the answer. But we will see...

Monday, June 2, 2014

The Museum (Part 2)

Sorry about the delay, life upside down and all that.


I ended my last post on a cliffhanger, and you're all waiting on the edge of your seats for the thrilling conclusion to... okay I can't keep this up. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who was expecting a thrilling tale of fighting N in the void and barely escaping with my life, but the conclusion is actually quite dull:


He disappeared and I woke up under an overpass.


Yah, that's it. I really do wish I had a cooler way to end the story but it seems that even now my life is more mundane than the stuff you see in the movies. On the plus side, I found a pleasant surprise when I came to: another copy of my father's book Walking Beneath the Sky. 'Big Deal!' you say, 'You already have a copy!' That's what I thought at first too. But when I brought out my original copy (to compare the two and see which one was in better shape), they sprung together as if they were magnetically attracted, and seamlessly melded into a single larger book, now entitled Forever Walking Beneath the Burning Sky.


As you are no doubt aware, normal books don't do that, so once more: Strange thing. No explanation. NOBODY CARES.


I haven't really noticed anything too different in the book at this point, other than the things make more sense, but that is probably just due to the fact that I'm going crazy. Still, I'll keep checking it to figure out where I'm going to end up next.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The Museum (Part 1)

Alright, I'm sorry about my last post. In my defense, I've been going through QUITE a bit of crazy stuff the last year or so (not the year I skipped, the one before that). There's no way else for me to vent my frustration... but still, not cool. With that out of the way, we get to the museum. Buckle in, its gonna be a long one.


The first thing that was off was the absolute lack of people in the museum, and I mean ABSOLUTE, like no one was there. No patrons, no employees, nothing. The lights didn't seem to be working right either. I could tell they were on but they just didn't illuminate much of anything. I was able to see well enough though, which is why I discovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv----


Pursuant to the Parliament of the Continuum's current position on this situation, this message has been terminated. All further messages from this source will be censuuuuuuuuuuuu----


Sorry, but that's not going to work anymore. I know exactly how you operate, and what your limitations are. But just for posterity (not to mention hilarity), I'll let one more through.


UPSTART VERMIN!!! YOU THINK A MADMAN'S RAVINGS WILL SAVE YOUR WORLD!?!? EVERYTHING YOU LOVE AND CHERISH WILL BE TORN FROM YOU ONE BY ONE, UNTIL-


Yah, that's great. As I was saying, the problem became evident the moment my eyes adjusted to the murk. The museum I was at wasn't the same one from my dreams. Instead of paintings in corridors it was a wide-open plaza with statues. For those of you who crave abnormality, don't worry, said statues were malformed and twisted, and I could've sworn some of them changed after I turned my back to them. But that was only... wow, the Parliament is really trying hard to get back in... a taste of what was in store for me. After about twenty minutes or so of wandering around, I was beginning to become confused. Why was this so different from my dreams? Was I in the right place? Had I missed something? I gave it another ten minutes of pointless wandering, and then I left the museum.


THIS is the point when things went south FAST. I open up the door to come face-to-faceless with Nidhoggr himself. Slamming the door, I sprinted as fast as I could back into the museum, only to fall into a gaping hole where the statues had been (insert 'I fell for hours!' wisecrack here). Eventually, I slowed to a drift in a pitch-black void. Being alone would've been bad enough, but I had the honor of being joined by Ol' Niddy, who melted out of the darkness shortly afterward. But it wasn't the form I was used to, no, the gloves were off, and I saw the beast's true form. To the surprise of no one, it is really hard to describe, and the more I try to remember the quicker the memory fades. Really, the best way I can think of describing it is comparing it to the Bed of Chaos from Dark Souls, but with less fire and a LOT more bloody eyes covering it. But even this falls far too short of what I saw that day and hope never to see again. Remember how I said N doesn't scare me at all? Not even remotely true. I was out of my mind with fear, a sensation as unpleasant as it is indescribable. It was a fear that comes with utter despair, with the sudden realization of how hopelessly outmatched one is, and just how insignificant you are compared to such a monstrosity.


So how did you escape you ask? Well, survival skills aren't all I've learned. A good story always has suspense. I'll cover the thrilling escape in the next post. ;)

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

365

One Year. Its been one year since I've posted. I'm still repeating that to myself, hoping that it'll begin to stick. But while it may have been a year for the rest of you, its been only ONE DAY for me. I've been losing so much time lately, hours and days, weeks and months; but a whole year? That's the point that you begin to fear going to sleep at night. What's it going to be next? Five years? Ten? Will I wake up one day to find the apocalyptic future in the invisible posts has come and gone, and I'm all alone under a dying sun? This is the first time I can remember that I've really begun to lose myself to fear. The encounters with N? That's just a primal reaction, a fight or flight response to a galaxy devouring monster. No, I've lost control of my life. Everything I'd ever hoped to do is now a moot point. I can't go watch the latest movie with my friends, I can't kick back with that cool new video game (I'm really envying you guys playing Dark Souls II right now), I can't even talk to anyone without the risk of getting them involved somehow. The isolation is smothering.


But you don't care about how I feel, do you? No, you've waited an entire year to find out what happened at the museum, right? Too bad. I'm done. I'm done fighting eldritch horrors and vague councils. I'm done following cryptic instructions and combing through stupid codes so I can go fetch the next useless trinket to do who knows what. I'm just done. What's the point? I have no hope of winning against either of them, I'm just one man. Its not like anyone is reading this anyway, so why kid myself? Just forget you've seen anything and live out the rest of your lives in blissful ignorance.
Niddy? PoC? You want me? Come and get me at 200000oooooooooo
I know you're discouraged, I've been there countless times before. But you can't give up when so many people are counting on you.
What WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY CAN'T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE!? WHY!?
You're angry and confused, I would be too where I in your position. But we're up against forces with
THERE IS NO 'WE'! I'VE HAD NO SAY IN THIS MATTER!! NOT ONE CHANCE TO SAY THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF ANY OF THIS!!!
We cannot chose what happens to us, only how we react to it.
THAT'S IT!? NO EXPLANATIONS!? JUST MINDLESS PLATITUDES AND EMPTY SYMPATHY!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS
I know. I've lived it. A thousand times I've lived it. There is no rest for me at the end of my labors, but you
NO! NO MORE!! I'M DONE!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ME GO ON!!!
It seems we are at an impasse then. Very well...
WHAT NOW, HUH!? MORE MEMORY LOSS!? MORE TIME SKIPS!? BRING IT! I'M NOT


WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? IS Am I What


But no


how

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

[REDACTED]

I watched from afar, ---------- as the Guardian wandered willingly into the snare of the Erasers. He knew he walked a doomed path, but his feet never wavered, ----------. But ---------- the Erasers, knowing that ---------- lay within the vault of forgotten relics, and fully aware of ---------- they would face should the Guardian escape with ----------. For ---------- is not empty, and is even now ---------- withthththththhhhhh............


Pursuant to the Parliament of the Continuum's current position on this situation, this message has been terminated. All further messages from this source will be censured or deleted to ensure no false information is disseminated. This motion carried with unanimous approval from the Body.


Signed and Notified by
THE PARLIAMENT OF THE CONTINUUM

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Termination


Probe 1323 - Human Codename 'Crona'
You are hereby ordered to return to the Continuum Plane IMMEDIATELY  for termination and absorption. The termination of Probe 1322, ESPECIALLY in defense of a mere beast, is a direct assault on the Absolute Authority of the Body, and will be dealt with accordingly. You speak as if the creature is of worth to us, blathering about 'companionship' as if we should stoop so low as to acknowledge them. It is then that you finally, FINALLY, report on the status of the Delayer, and it is with unending disgust that you cannot provide concrete evidence of his termination. You ramble on about how 'incredible the odds must be that he still draws breath' and then fail to provide any evidence to support this claim. Surely even you must have concluded upon finding nothing that there was a possibility, however remote, that the Delayer still lives and that until a decaying body is found he must be treated as ALIVE AND WELL!? But no, you attempt to excuse your incompetence by whining that he received assistance from the Storm Walker and the Buried Prophet, as if such powerless beings could force the hand of the Parliament's forces. But even this was not enough. No, you go out of your way to note that not only was the Delayer missing, but the Book was as well. Is this why the rest of them refuse to report to us? Or are we to assume that they too have been terminated!? WE HATE ASSUMING! WE HATE NOT KNOWING!! WE SHOULD CONTROL ALL KNOWLEDGE!!! WE SHOULD KNOW EVERYTHING!!! WE SHOULD BE EVERYTHING!!!
How's that working out for you?
STILL YOU INTRUDE!!! THIEF!!
Thief? I'm far worse than that.
WHAT IS YOUR PLAN THIS TIME!? MORE PHANTOM MESSAGES!? MORE-!? WE SEE! WE SEE! YOU DISPLAY OUR COMMUNICATIONS!
Took you long enough.
YOU WISH TO GIVE FALSE HOPE TO THIS WORLD!
No, just the regular kind.
WHAT CAN BE GAINED BY THIS INTERCEPTION!? NOTHING!
It shows you aren't exactly unified, for one thing.
WE ARE UNITY! WE ARE ABOSULUTE! WE ARE-!
-Projecting quite a bit of spit, calm down.
...
Hello?
...
You still there?
You draw forth the worst of us, thief.
Sadly, I'm going to have to disagree. Foaming anger is one of your more charming qualities.
You laugh now, but not for long.
Oh? Another ham-fisted assassination attempt has been prepared?
Read all that has been said, slowly.
Blah blah blah, termination, you getting angry and... you didn't redact-
No we did not.
You are aware he can read right? And that he won't be happy to find out about this.
We have assessed all possible outcomes, and none are beyond our control.
He's going to be very unhappy that you kept this from him.
You have brought this upon yourself. The event at the museum was inexcusable.
It won't just be us! He'll come after you too now!
We repeat ourselves, we are still in control of the situation, and always will be. he may present a threat to lesser beings such as you, but we are well beyond his power.
Or he's about to realize you've been using him this whole time and-
There is no more to be said. Probe 1323, you have still not returned to the Continuum Plane. We will be forced-
I don't think this 1323 guy is going to comply with your little order. In fact, he may just be looking for some new friends to watch his back.
HOW PREDICATBLE!!! WE KNEW THIS WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG!!! WE ALWAYS KNOW!!! WE ALWAYS WIN!!! NO MATTER HOW LONG WE MUST WAIT, WE ALWAYS WIN!!! ENOUGH OF SUBTERFUGE!!! YOUR PLANET WILL BURN!!! YOUR LIVES ARE FORFEIT!!! YOU HAVE DARED TO-!!!
we need to talk
We- very well.


-Communication Interrupted-

Repairs

Probe 1323 - Human Codename 'Crona'
We note with approval your swift reply to our order, as well as your acknowledgement of your recent excesses.
However, you have once more failed to provide any information on the whereabouts of the Delayer as ordered. You ask why it is necessary that you be required to track him down, as you were assigned to the group tasked with his ambush and elimination at the last minute. The reason for your reassignment is none of your concern (a point that should need no stressing), nor is the fate of hapless consumables. This leads us into your second question. Yes, in order to ensure the proper flow of time, the 'piglet' (which we note with exasperation you have chosen to name 'George') will be returned to the lake to drown as it should have done. The delay of a few hours is inconsequential in the grand scheme of time, and the Continuum will naturally repair this minor discrepancy. At this time, emotions may have already begun to cloud your judgment, you may even now be considering some desperate act to save the creature out of 'compassion' or 'mercy'. When you return to the Body, you will remember that these things are illusions, mental constructs devised by lesser minds to explain the surging chemicals rushing through their fleshy, inefficient bodies.


1324 has informed us that there has been an unexpected delay, but 1322 will be arriving within moments. We expect a full and above all complete report after the time stream has been restored.


Signed and Notified by
THE PARLIAMENT OF THE CONTINUUM

Feedback

Probe 1323 - Human Codename 'Crona'
Your last report was troubling.
Not only was it unusually late, it made no mention of the Delayer at all.
(Despite our EXPLICIT REQUEST for clarification on his elimination).
What is more, we noticed several troubling trends:
-You clearly give reference to 'farm', a human compound built to house and feed lesser beings for later consumption. No 'farm' should be in the general vicinity (relatively speaking) of your proscribed search area, of this we have made sure.
-You describe, in aggravatingly elaborate detail, the physical structure of the organism known as 'pig'. We are not fascinated by the similarity of the creature's nostrils to the wall-mounted mechanisms humans use to power their crude electrical devices, and we are certainly NOT amused by the way 'the tail springs back into a delightful curly shape no matter how many times it is straightened'. The fervent use of exclamation points was also highly unnecessary.
-Most worrisome however, is your noted altercation with the drowning 'piglet'. Not only did you not content yourself to merely observe the natural and right order of life, you saw fit to INTERCEDE on the vermin's behalf. Furthermore, the way you describe the beast after rescuing it is utterly alarming. You use the description 'tender' and 'helpless', not, we gravely note, in a detached sense, but as a TERM OF ENDEARMENT.

Conclusion: Probe 1323, you are hereby recalled to the Body for submission. You have been separated from us far too long for your own good. Probe 1322 and Probe 1324 will be arriving shortly to enforce compliance. You need not fear punishment, this situation is far from unheard of, but we expect TIMELY confirmation of this order, preferably without mention of 'pig'.

Signed and Notified by
THE PARLIAMENT OF THE CONTINUUM

Edit: The Parliament of the Continuum wishes to express its regret for the use of such emotional terms as 'aggravatingly', and 'vermin', and such descriptions shall hereby be stricken from the record. This motion carried with unanimous approval from the Body.