The Museum (Part 1)

Alright, I'm sorry about my last post. In my defense, I've been going through QUITE a bit of crazy stuff the last year or so (not the year I skipped, the one before that). There's no way else for me to vent my frustration... but still, not cool. With that out of the way, we get to the museum. Buckle in, its gonna be a long one.


The first thing that was off was the absolute lack of people in the museum, and I mean ABSOLUTE, like no one was there. No patrons, no employees, nothing. The lights didn't seem to be working right either. I could tell they were on but they just didn't illuminate much of anything. I was able to see well enough though, which is why I discovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv----


Pursuant to the Parliament of the Continuum's current position on this situation, this message has been terminated. All further messages from this source will be censuuuuuuuuuuuu----


Sorry, but that's not going to work anymore. I know exactly how you operate, and what your limitations are. But just for posterity (not to mention hilarity), I'll let one more through.


UPSTART VERMIN!!! YOU THINK A MADMAN'S RAVINGS WILL SAVE YOUR WORLD!?!? EVERYTHING YOU LOVE AND CHERISH WILL BE TORN FROM YOU ONE BY ONE, UNTIL-


Yah, that's great. As I was saying, the problem became evident the moment my eyes adjusted to the murk. The museum I was at wasn't the same one from my dreams. Instead of paintings in corridors it was a wide-open plaza with statues. For those of you who crave abnormality, don't worry, said statues were malformed and twisted, and I could've sworn some of them changed after I turned my back to them. But that was only... wow, the Parliament is really trying hard to get back in... a taste of what was in store for me. After about twenty minutes or so of wandering around, I was beginning to become confused. Why was this so different from my dreams? Was I in the right place? Had I missed something? I gave it another ten minutes of pointless wandering, and then I left the museum.


THIS is the point when things went south FAST. I open up the door to come face-to-faceless with Nidhoggr himself. Slamming the door, I sprinted as fast as I could back into the museum, only to fall into a gaping hole where the statues had been (insert 'I fell for hours!' wisecrack here). Eventually, I slowed to a drift in a pitch-black void. Being alone would've been bad enough, but I had the honor of being joined by Ol' Niddy, who melted out of the darkness shortly afterward. But it wasn't the form I was used to, no, the gloves were off, and I saw the beast's true form. To the surprise of no one, it is really hard to describe, and the more I try to remember the quicker the memory fades. Really, the best way I can think of describing it is comparing it to the Bed of Chaos from Dark Souls, but with less fire and a LOT more bloody eyes covering it. But even this falls far too short of what I saw that day and hope never to see again. Remember how I said N doesn't scare me at all? Not even remotely true. I was out of my mind with fear, a sensation as unpleasant as it is indescribable. It was a fear that comes with utter despair, with the sudden realization of how hopelessly outmatched one is, and just how insignificant you are compared to such a monstrosity.


So how did you escape you ask? Well, survival skills aren't all I've learned. A good story always has suspense. I'll cover the thrilling escape in the next post. ;)

[REDACTED]

I watched from afar, ---------- as the Guardian wandered willingly into the snare of the Erasers. He knew he walked a doomed path, but his feet never wavered, ----------. But ---------- the Erasers, knowing that ---------- lay within the vault of forgotten relics, and fully aware of ---------- they would face should the Guardian escape with ----------. For ---------- is not empty, and is even now ---------- withthththththhhhhh............


Pursuant to the Parliament of the Continuum's current position on this situation, this message has been terminated. All further messages from this source will be censured or deleted to ensure no false information is disseminated. This motion carried with unanimous approval from the Body.


Signed and Notified by

THE PARLIAMENT OF THE CONTINUUM

Termination

Probe 1323 - Human Codename 'Crona'
You are hereby ordered to return to the Continuum Plane IMMEDIATELY  for termination and absorption. The termination of Probe 1322, ESPECIALLY in defense of a mere beast, is a direct assault on the Absolute Authority of the Body, and will be dealt with accordingly. You speak as if the creature is of worth to us, blathering about 'companionship' as if we should stoop so low as to acknowledge them. It is then that you finally, FINALLY, report on the status of the Delayer, and it is with unending disgust that you cannot provide concrete evidence of his termination. You ramble on about how 'incredible the odds must be that he still draws breath' and then fail to provide any evidence to support this claim. Surely even you must have concluded upon finding nothing that there was a possibility, however remote, that the Delayer still lives and that until a decaying body is found he must be treated as ALIVE AND WELL!? But no, you attempt to excuse your incompetence by whining that he received assistance from the Storm Walker and the Buried Prophet, as if such powerless beings could force the hand of the Parliament's forces. But even this was not enough. No, you go out of your way to note that not only was the Delayer missing, but the Book was as well. Is this why the rest of them refuse to report to us? Or are we to assume that they too have been terminated!? WE HATE ASSUMING! WE HATE NOT KNOWING!! WE SHOULD CONTROL ALL KNOWLEDGE!!! WE SHOULD KNOW EVERYTHING!!! WE SHOULD BE EVERYTHING!!!
How's that working out for you?
STILL YOU INTRUDE!!! THIEF!!
Thief? I'm far worse than that.
WHAT IS YOUR PLAN THIS TIME!? MORE PHANTOM MESSAGES!? MORE-!? WE SEE! WE SEE! YOU DISPLAY OUR COMMUNICATIONS!
Took you long enough.
YOU WISH TO GIVE FALSE HOPE TO THIS WORLD!
No, just the regular kind.
WHAT CAN BE GAINED BY THIS INTERCEPTION!? NOTHING!
It shows you aren't exactly unified, for one thing.
WE ARE UNITY! WE ARE ABOSULUTE! WE ARE-!
-Projecting quite a bit of spit, calm down.
...
Hello?
...
You still there?
You draw forth the worst of us, thief.
Sadly, I'm going to have to disagree. Foaming anger is one of your more charming qualities.
You laugh now, but not for long.
Oh? Another ham-fisted assassination attempt has been prepared?
Read all that has been said, slowly.
Blah blah blah, termination, you getting angry and... you didn't redact-
No we did not.
You are aware he can read right? And that he won't be happy to find out about this.
We have assessed all possible outcomes, and none are beyond our control.
He's going to be very unhappy that you kept this from him.
You have brought this upon yourself. The event at the museum was inexcusable.
It won't just be us! He'll come after you too now!
We repeat ourselves, we are still in control of the situation, and always will be. he may present a threat to lesser beings such as you, but we are well beyond his power.
Or he's about to realize you've been using him this whole time and-
There is no more to be said. Probe 1323, you have still not returned to the Continuum Plane. We will be forced-
I don't think this 1323 guy is going to comply with your little order. In fact, he may just be looking for some new friends to watch his back.
HOW PREDICATBLE!!! WE KNEW THIS WAS YOUR PLAN ALL ALONG!!! WE ALWAYS KNOW!!! WE ALWAYS WIN!!! NO MATTER HOW LONG WE MUST WAIT, WE ALWAYS WIN!!! ENOUGH OF SUBTERFUGE!!! YOUR PLANET WILL BURN!!! YOUR LIVES ARE FORFEIT!!! YOU HAVE DARED TO-!!!
we need to talk
We- very well.


-Communication Interrupted-

Repairs

Probe 1323 - Human Codename 'Crona'
We note with approval your swift reply to our order, as well as your acknowledgement of your recent excesses.
However, you have once more failed to provide any information on the whereabouts of the Delayer as ordered. You ask why it is necessary that you be required to track him down, as you were assigned to the group tasked with his ambush and elimination at the last minute. The reason for your reassignment is none of your concern (a point that should need no stressing), nor is the fate of hapless consumables. This leads us into your second question. Yes, in order to ensure the proper flow of time, the 'piglet' (which we note with exasperation you have chosen to name 'George') will be returned to the lake to drown as it should have done. The delay of a few hours is inconsequential in the grand scheme of time, and the Continuum will naturally repair this minor discrepancy. At this time, emotions may have already begun to cloud your judgment, you may even now be considering some desperate act to save the creature out of 'compassion' or 'mercy'. When you return to the Body, you will remember that these things are illusions, mental constructs devised by lesser minds to explain the surging chemicals rushing through their fleshy, inefficient bodies.


1324 has informed us that there has been an unexpected delay, but 1322 will be arriving within moments. We expect a full and above all complete report after the time stream has been restored.


Signed and Notified by

THE PARLIAMENT OF THE CONTINUUM

Feedback

Probe 1323 - Human Codename 'Crona'

Your last report was troubling.

Not only was it unusually late, it made no mention of the Delayer at all.

(Despite our EXPLICIT REQUEST for clarification on his elimination).

What is more, we noticed several troubling trends:

-You clearly give reference to 'farm', a human compound built to house and feed lesser beings for later consumption. No 'farm' should be in the general vicinity (relatively speaking) of your proscribed search area, of this we have made sure.

-You describe, in aggravatingly elaborate detail, the physical structure of the organism known as 'pig'. We are not fascinated by the similarity of the creature's nostrils to the wall-mounted mechanisms humans use to power their crude electrical devices, and we are certainly NOT amused by the way 'the tail springs back into a delightful curly shape no matter how many times it is straightened'. The fervent use of exclamation points was also highly unnecessary.

-Most worrisome however, is your noted altercation with the drowning 'piglet'. Not only did you not content yourself to merely observe the natural and right order of life, you saw fit to INTERCEDE on the vermin's behalf. Furthermore, the way you describe the beast after rescuing it is utterly alarming. You use the description 'tender' and 'helpless', not, we gravely note, in a detached sense, but as a TERM OF ENDEARMENT.

Conclusion: Probe 1323, you are hereby recalled to the Body for submission. You have been separated from us far too long for your own good. Probe 1322 and Probe 1324 will be arriving shortly to enforce compliance. You need not fear punishment, this situation is far from unheard of, but we expect TIMELY confirmation of this order, preferably without mention of 'pig'.

Signed and Notified by

THE PARLIAMENT OF THE CONTINUUM

Edit: The Parliament of the Continuum wishes to express its regret for the use of such emotional terms as 'aggravatingly', and 'vermin', and such descriptions shall hereby be stricken from the record. This motion carried with unanimous approval from the Body.

Two Encounters

Another long absence. Sorry about that, but I have a reasonable excuse this time.

Last week I was almost cornered by Niddoge- er... Nihoden-, look, can I just call him N from now on? I'm kinda feeling scrambled and having to type out that name just makes it worse. So anyway, cornered, escape impossible, blah blah blah. Then the floor gives way under my feet, and I'm out the door and into the night. That would be the end of it, except I was attacked again just three days ago by someone with a sniper rifle. Seriously, I was just minding my own business, walking down to the café to update on my previous attack, when I hear this thundering report and the bricks next to my head shatter. If it hadn't been so windy that day, they wouldn't have missed. And by 'they' I mean these Parliament goons. I didn't think that they'd take this route to get me, I thought they couldn't act in a way that brings them attenttt.attenttt.attenttt.attentttattenttttttttttttttttttt---

Your continued survival shows a great lack of respect on your part.
You believe you have evaded us? That you have outwitted us?
Fool. You only draw breath because we allow you the privilege.
But you have amused us, something that has not happened for a long time.
We no longer care about the girl, or her father.
We want youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu---

You don't know where she is.

Who dares to defy the Parliament? What unseen voice speaks?

A friend of his, an enemy of yours.

You are... familiar to us. What is your name?

Shouldn't you already know it? Or is your omniscience malfunctioning today?

Do you think yourself brave with your petty insults? Time and space mean nothing to us!

And yet you can't find two people. Humbling isn't it?

Humility is for the weak! You will reveal yourself to us at once!

Or maybe... I'll reveal what's about to happen instead...

We control all information! What chance do you think you have to sneak a message by us!?

A fairly good chance I'd say. I've already gotten several past you. Others too.

We detect a bluff! No secret messages are present in the record! We would have seen them!

Oh no. They're in pretty much every post up until now. Look again.

Ah, we understand now. You attempt to fluster us with deception, then pass a message.

No need. I've already sent one a few days ago. Its not one of mine, but still.

We see nothing!

And you'll continue seeing nothing until its right in front of you. Your time is coming to an end, the anguished cry of a billion species howls for justice, and justice they shall have.

You delude yourself! Justice is a word dreamt up by the weak! We are the Parliament of the Continuum! We know everything! We fear nothing! Show yourself to us! Face our wrath if you are not afraid!

The voice is gone.
We... have forgotten ourselves.
A momentary slip betrayed the most hated emotion.
But we are whole once more.
No task is above us.
And no human is either.

More Letters

Well, that didn't last long, did it? Guess its all right if I post real quick and then get out of here.

Okay, remember last Summer when I thought I was running from Svend and I kept finding those letters that exploded when I opened them? Well, they're back, except now they're soaked through and through, and I can make out a bit from each of them. Most of that makes no sense, but a phrase keeps popping up now and then: 'The Parliament of the Continuum'. I don't know who or what this 'Parliament' is, but they're probably the ones out to get me. If I learn any.any.any.any.any.any.any.mmmmmooorrreee---

So you have learned of our name? It matters not.
You have noticed the connection between events? A child could have done the same.
We will not impart our motives or our goals, for they are far beyond you.
Humanity can never hope to understand what we do, nor why we do it.
All that your feeble minds can do is be grateful that greater minds know what is best for you.
Give us the girl, and you will not suffer.
Give us the girl, or Humanity pays the price for your futile machinations.

The Parliament of the Continuum

Ignorance with Death

You have ignored our final warning. Judgment will be swift and -------. The ----- is ours; your interference has not changed that, because the ------ will not change. Whether the ---- wins or not is none of our concern. Even ---- must one day succumb to ----.

You have ignored our final warning. Prepare for death.

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Date: Unknown

Ultimatum

The future does ------------, the future has -----------. The world ended on December ----, 201-, it will happen, ---------------------------. The date is etched in stone. If you will not do what is necessary, --------------------------------------------. We will not allow -----------------------, to allow -----------------------------------------------. You live on borrowed time, ---------------.

And we will not rest until you have -------------------------------------.

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