365

One Year. Its been one year since I've posted. I'm still repeating that to myself, hoping that it'll begin to stick. But while it may have been a year for the rest of you, its been only ONE DAY for me. I've been losing so much time lately, hours and days, weeks and months; but a whole year? That's the point that you begin to fear going to sleep at night. What's it going to be next? Five years? Ten? Will I wake up one day to find the apocalyptic future in the invisible posts has come and gone, and I'm all alone under a dying sun? This is the first time I can remember that I've really begun to lose myself to fear. The encounters with N? That's just a primal reaction, a fight or flight response to a galaxy devouring monster. No, I've lost control of my life. Everything I'd ever hoped to do is now a moot point. I can't go watch the latest movie with my friends, I can't kick back with that cool new video game (I'm really envying you guys playing Dark Souls II right now), I can't even talk to anyone without the risk of getting them involved somehow. The isolation is smothering.


But you don't care about how I feel, do you? No, you've waited an entire year to find out what happened at the museum, right? Too bad. I'm done. I'm done fighting eldritch horrors and vague councils. I'm done following cryptic instructions and combing through stupid codes so I can go fetch the next useless trinket to do who knows what. I'm just done. What's the point? I have no hope of winning against either of them, I'm just one man. Its not like anyone is reading this anyway, so why kid myself? Just forget you've seen anything and live out the rest of your lives in blissful ignorance.
Niddy? PoC? You want me? Come and get me at 200000oooooooooo
I know you're discouraged, I've been there countless times before. But you can't give up when so many people are counting on you.
What WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHY CAN'T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE ELSE!? WHY!?
You're angry and confused, I would be too where I in your position. But we're up against forces with
THERE IS NO 'WE'! I'VE HAD NO SAY IN THIS MATTER!! NOT ONE CHANCE TO SAY THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF ANY OF THIS!!!
We cannot chose what happens to us, only how we react to it.
THAT'S IT!? NO EXPLANATIONS!? JUST MINDLESS PLATITUDES AND EMPTY SYMPATHY!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS
I know. I've lived it. A thousand times I've lived it. There is no rest for me at the end of my labors, but you
NO! NO MORE!! I'M DONE!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ME GO ON!!!
It seems we are at an impasse then. Very well...
WHAT NOW, HUH!? MORE MEMORY LOSS!? MORE TIME SKIPS!? BRING IT! I'M NOT


WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!? IS Am I What


But no


how